AMERICAN GLADIATORS IS BACK!!!!

Now THIS is fucking cool!!! NBC is bringing back the competition show that spanned eight successful years from 1989-96. They're believed to be produced six episodes, and airing them back to back sometime in the winter, in the same fashion they rolled out Deal or No Deal nearly two years ago, (one show every night for a week). Nothing has been officially confirmed but if everyone doesnt watch this and make it last I"m gonna get pure Nitro on their ass.

You wanna joust u little bitch? I'll joust you.

What was the game where they ran inside steel balls and made steam blow from those whack things on the floor? That was the shit!

Screw sports. Biggest Broadcast in Basic Cable History? HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2

The Disney Channel's debut of the insanely successful pre-teen franchise broke a shitload of records in its debut on Friday night. IT WAS THE HIGHEST RATED TELECAST ON BASIC CABLE TELEVISION. EVER. That's right. Whatever b-ball game, espn broadcast, Sopranos episode, Nip/Tuck Finale... more people watched this movie than any of those: 17.2 million viewers to be exact. To put this in perspective, The Sopranos drew about 11 million viewers weekly at its peak... and that's when it was considered a monumental acheivement of its kind; so the magnitude of this low-budget, but high profile tv-movie might be shown through that. This many viewers, in the middle of a week of November sweeps, would no doubt land it in the top ten, if that helps.

In fact, as a little pre-cursor, according to Hits Daily Double, the High School Musical 2 soundtrack, the sequel to the original soundtrack, the quadruple platinum best-selling CD of last year, should debut at #1 on the Billboard album sales charts with sales of at least 550,000 copies. But even with all of the massive publicity, encouraging press, and unbelievable hype from the pre-teen set, could they have imagined they would shatter the record for most-watched broadcast in such a huge way. Last month, a re-broadcast of the original episode, the 500th repeat broadcast, alone brought in 5.8 million viewers, making it one of the top draws on basic cable that week.

For fuck sakes, wow. That's great for them, but its even greater for the cast. You know they're planning on making this whole thing into a feature film - which is obviously a great idea... but they haven't signed any of the actors to contracts?? You know how many millions of dollars these guys will get? Not to mention cuts in merchandising, t.v. broadcast revenue.. the list goes on and on. And all they had to do was film two crappy t.v. movies in two years, for a total of maybe 10 weeks of actual filming. Combined.

Good for them. Fuck the lottery. I'll dress in bi-sexual clothing and sing and dance like Elmo any day of the week if you promise me to keep sending me those Disney checks. Hell, I'll pole dance instead if you want me to. Naked. I'll own that shit.
DISNEY, ARE YOU FUCKING PAYING ATTENTION?!

Saturday Box Office Update

Superbad came out on top on Friday pulling in a damn fine $12 million in sales. That even beat Knocked Up's $10 million bow back in June but Superbad will be more of a frontloaded movie where die-hard fans rush out on opening day to catch it, so expect a bow in the same range as Knocked Up's $30 million debut.
The Invasion took a beating with a $2 million debut, and The Last Legion only mustered $1 million so expect $5 million and below from these two, pretty pricey pics.

Rush Hour 3 and The Bourne Ultimatum should both come in the high-teen millions, with Rush Hour experiencing a pretty hefty 66% drop from its last Friday haul.

Opening Today: August 17th

New Movies

Superbad
Budget: $18 million
Theatres: 2900+

The Invasion
Budget: $50 million
Theatres: 2700+

The Last Legion
Budget: N/A
Theatres: 2013


Three new movies take over multiplexes today, with Superbad poised to take the top spot. Building incredible momentum over the past few months - after an R-rated trailer hit the net in late May - Superbad has been garnering glowing reviews, similar in fashion to the other Judd Apatow/Seth Rogan teamed comedy of the summer that you were fucking stupid to miss - Knocked Up. Holding Superbad back a couple of notches is its teen-based core crowd may hinder its chances of breaking out to a $30+ million debut like Knocked Up, which benefited from appealing to a wide demographic. On top of this, its the end of the summer, where many movie-goers have been exhausted by a plethora of choices, (all of which, by the way, are shaping this summer up to be the greatest money-maker on record), therefore many skip it until DVD, which would be a bad choice considering this will definitely satisfy moviegoers more than 95% of other movies that come out this year. I'm expectin' it to pull in a minimum of $20 million, in the vein of The 40 year-old Virgin two summers ago, which had incredible legs in the weeks ahead to pull it well over $100 million.

This should be enough to crown it #1, given last weeks champ Rush Hour 3 falls as hard as I'm thinking. Word of mouth has been decent, but not spectacular, and with a softer than expected bow of $49.1 million last weekend, Rush Hour should definitely lose well more than half its audience, aiming closer to $20 million in week 2. This should put it in direct competition with Superbad, as well as The Bourne Ultimatum, which raked in a solid $32 million last weekend, and should hold up decently in the very high teens.

Debuting after multiple re-shoots, an inflated budget, ($50 million was merely the original budget), terrible early word of mouth from test screenings, Warner Bros. revoking its world premiere, and lastly, not-so-enthusiastic reviews, should put a huge dent in what should have been a terrific opening weekend. With a $17 million paycheck, this was supposed to be Nicole Kidman's triumphant return to the suspense/horror genre after her successful turn 5 years ago in The Others. With the studio unsatisfied with the original cut of the film - they wanted less psychological drama, more action and jump-in-your-seat scares - resulted in Director James McTeigue (V for Vendetta) and The Wachowski Brothers (The Matrix Trilogy) to come on board with at least $15 million to their disposal to re-shoot a third of the film. The mish-mash result clearly didn't do too much to boost the picture, and audience awareness and reaction is weak as a result. Don't expect too much more than $10-12 million for the weekend.

Finally, The Last Legion, with Ben Kingsley and Aishwaria Rai opens after being shelved for nearly a year. The Weinstein Company, like The Invasion, is opening the film quietly at the end of August, with no great marketing or press push, which should result in a week opening in the mid-single digits.

Ryan Seacrest Hosts the Superbowl

To build the audience beyond football fans and make the superbowl accessible to an even greater mass audience, Ryan Seacrest will host the half-time show & interview celebrities throughout the broadcast. This is the times we live in people, when one of the most macho events of the year gets downgraded to Ryan Seacreast. R-y-a-n S-e-a-c-r-e-s-t.

By the way, I was trying to find a gay-er picture of him but, oddly, they all sort of blended together, frosted tips & all...

People Don't Seem to like Mandy Patinkin

Star in the '90's of the popular drama 'Chicago Hope', Mandy Patinkin found success in the past two years starring in the hugely successful CBS drama 'Criminal Minds'. The show, also co-starring Shemar Moore, has been pretty much the only show on a network outside of FOX that has stood up against the American Idol juggernaut with strength (it sat in the top 15 last season), and actually INCREASING its viewership in season two.

Then last month, Patinkin quit the show. No reasoning, no notice - the show was due to begin production on season 3 in a mere two days. After the dust settled initially, Patinkin recently decided to return for a brief scene in a single episode near the start of the season to give some sort of resolution to the central character of the show, after it takes off in a completely different direction, (its believed Joe Mantagna will take over the primary role on the show. If you don't know Joe.... yea u do, go google him, I'm not doing all the work for you here). Anyway the point is, make things even more difficult, CBS had to hire a separate crew to film the short scene, since no one that works on the show actually wanted to see the face of the man that is potentially sullying all of their careers. Understandable, no?

Its jarring to think that the star of a major television show, not only has the guts and mindset to up and leave from something actors build decades trying to create or acheive, but that he actually had the power to do so. Where was this guy's contract? Even when you're working at a fucking construction company you can't just up and leave. And millions of dollars aren't on the fucking table either! (Although it really should be, those guys work fucking hard, right? Society is completely crumbling in segregating.... oh wait, this is about Mandy). Anyway, I hope life treats you well Mandy. I hope you invest all your earnings in some museum of sedimentary rocks and watch it all disappear, selling nude photos of yourself to some new publication of Playgirl-For the aging woman in you...

That's Not Funny, Jim Carrey

"I can make THIS much money!!!!"

Now see, Jim Carrey's a legend, so I"m not going to get in his face about anything, but what he just did was pretty dumb. Jim Carrey signed on to star in the coming-of-age comedy 'Yes Man', where he'll play a man enthralled by the idea that his life can make a turn-around if he just says yes to anything and everything that comes his way in life. Hilarity ensues - i'm sure, really. But what might not be as hilarious is his salary once the film comes out.

In an unprecedented move, Carrey signed on with no upfront salary, and no back-end gross benefits. What this means is, generally, when big stars sign onto movies nowadays, they take a smaller paycheck than they normally would upfront, (say - a $20 million actor like Denzel Washington, might take $5 million), in exchange for a percentage of the overall gross of the film. This is a smarter tactic for actors, because they know they bring in the money at the turnstyles. However, Jim Carrey by-passed this completely by agreeing to get no upfront money or gross-participation, in exchange for 36.2% of the PROFITS of the film. Now, at first glance this seems highly lucrative. Jim Carrey comedies have a pretty high success rate at the box office, and without a huge payout for the star, the budget could be kept relatively tame. But studios shell out a shitload of money on marketing, distribution, prints, etc. on TOP of just the films budget.

This puts Carrey in a vulnerable position. Hypothetically, say the movie costs $30 million to make (and thats being stingy). Add on an additional $50-100 million in marketing worldwide (depending on how generous the studio wants to be in terms of awareness, and in terms of screwing Carrey over), plus anywhere from $15-50 million in prints, distribution, DVD marketing etc. That means the movie has to recoup all of this cash, THEN start MAKING its money in order for Carrey just to grab a little more than a third of that share.

By all means, Carrey's a star talent, and a seasoned celebrity. He knows this genre and knows how to sell it. But its one helluva risk to go into a full-on production, go through months of exhausting shooting, to potentially come up with nothing, especially when you could have strong-holded $5 million...even $2 million upfront, for a smaller percentage take. At this point, its anyone's guess because the movie hasn't even been fucking made yet. In any case, let's hope it turns out fucking incredible.

I can see Britney Spears reading this with lightbulbs flashing off in her head. "Oh ma god, Jim Carrey is brillllient! I should give up ma recordin contract and take a pie slice o ma sales!" Go get 'em girl.

That's Not Funny, NBC

Although it has yet to officially confirm it, NBC has signed Jimmy Fallon to a talent holding deal with many insiders leaking that he will be the replacement for Conan O'Brien when Conan heads to the Tonight Show after Leno's exit in 2009.

Really? Jimmy fucking Fallon? Can anyone tell me what he's done that would have executives spinning in their sick leather office chairs? How has he proven himself??? He ruined Weekend Update on SNL, which could have been grand with Tina Fey at the post; he reallllly brought the heat with Fever Pitch with Drew Barrymore - that was a real winner. TAXI with Queen Latifah was a gem and a half too. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT PEPSI COMMERCIAL?? Parker Posey is a lunatic by nature so she's excused from this, but Fallon's just a douche with no excuse... so again, what makes anyone think this guy can carry the torch from Conan O'Brien, a guy who can cut his toenail and make you laugh. If I ever saw Jimmy Fallon cutting his fucking toenail, I'd have Rosie O'Donnell throw up on me.

Wow, I've been meaning to vent about him for a while. That felt great.

God Comes to Save '30 Rock'

Jerry Seinfeld has bestowed his talent to save the critically hailed, but horribly struggling sitcom '30 Rock'. Praised by almost every friggin' person that comes across it (including myself), 30 Rock couldn't have struggled more last year, averaging 5.8 million viewers, (basically putting it near the end of the top 100 or so shows on broadcast television), and I still don't understand why. For the majority of the season, it followed The Office, another workplace sitcom that struggled in its first season, at 9:30p.m. on Thursdays. As we all know know though, The Office is thriving, so hopefully the same turnaround luck happens for the Tina Fey / Alec Baldwin comedy this season.

And to help ensure that will happen, Seinfeld's coming on-board beginning with the season premiere October 3rd. He'll be playing himself, recurring throughout the season, pretty much based on how well the ratings start to improve. This is the funniest show on television right now, it's genius. Hopefully people will pay more attention to it now. Or at least the five of you that are reading this right now will take my advice. You ARE reading the blog in the first place aren't you? I got you hooked bitches!!!

Bionic Woman Leaks

NBC was looking pretty hot come fall with the anticipated Bionic Woman pilot causing intense fever at conventions and advertising upfront presentations alike over the past few months. Last week, though, the much sought after pilot leaked online. The only strange thing is, NBC doesn't really seem to be giving a shit. The same can be said about the season 3 debut episode of Showtime's "Weeds" and ABC's upcoming "Caveman", based on the series of Geico commercials with that sick ass caveman. Still, no official comment or negativity coming from either camp about the leaks.

This makes sense though. Think in terms of record labels leaking advanced tracks from pop albums as of late. They don't seem to care about dishing a small portion of their product when they know it will merely build anticipation and divert a few people from downloading into buying. I think the same principle applies here: NBC may not get "Heroes" like numbers when it debuts Bionic Woman, but it will entice a couple more million people over the next month to become interested in the concept, which they might otherwise ignore.... or perhaps it will just intensify the debut numbers even more.

In my opinion, leaking one version of a pilot, then re-tooling it with minor changes and airing that version first might suit them better, attracting even the audience that have checked out the debut online to the televised premiere. i think it's funny the way the business is changing these days. Five years ago, when would you see any of these execs leaking their pilot to build anticipation? It's blogs like these that are forcing them to course correct.

Why am I smiling? What the fuck?

Ladies, your movie event awaits you...

It was announced in June that Carrie Bradshaw & her Sex and the City Co. would finally take over the big screen, after two years of frustrating negotiations stemming from Kim Cattrell's desire to have a salary within the range of Sarah Jessica Parker, and more creative control over the script. Well, now that the power crazy bitch got what she wanted, the final piece of the puzzle just came into play over the weekend. Chris Noth (the elusive "Mr. Big") has finally come on board, giving the green light for the project to start filming in New York on a planned September start date.

To this day, I still don't get the appeal of this damn show. But I guess I get pissed off when girls down understand Entourage so I can't be too pissed. Fine. I won't tell you Carrie Bradshaw's a fucking dweeb, and all you girls lay off Drama. Deal? Don't mess with drama....

Saturday Box Office Update

Rush Hour 3 looks like its gonna debut a little weaker than expected. It pulled in an estimated $18.5 million on Friday, about 20% less than the $22.9 million Rush Hour 2 managed on its opening day six years ago. By this account, Rush Hour 3 should still be able to manage about $55 million for the weekend, though most analysts had predicted a $60 million + bow for the action/comedy. Stardust faired much worse than predicted, pulling in an estimated $3.0 million Friday, which should translate into around $8-9 million for the weekend. With a $70 million budget, its a pretty disastrous start. The most alarming start has to be Skinwalkers, which pulled in $0.17 million from 773 sites. That's $177,000. I crap that kind of money at night.

Album Sales Projections - August 15th Chart

Top Ten Projected Album Sales
1. UGK (Underground Kingz) 145,000-150,000
2. Plies 90,000-95,000
3. Now 25 Compilation 90,000 - 95,000
4. The Jonas Brothers 85,000 - 90,000
5. Hannah Montana 2 Soundtrack 75,000-80,000
6. Hairspray Motion Picture Soundtrack 70,000-75,000
7. Common 60,000 - 70,000
8. Korn 55,000 - 60,000
9. Fergie 55,000-60,000
10. T.I. 45,000 - 50,000

Check back Tuesday for final sales tallies

The Sports Round-up

- David Beckham made his long-awaited debut for the L.A. Galaxy on Thursday night as the team lost (once again) to the D.C. United. The team needs to pull 4 wins out of their next 5 games in order to clinch the MLS playoff spot, but given their current, depressing losing streak, such a run might need a little luck. Or David Beckham will probably do juuust fine.

- Roger Clemens will begin a five game suspension beginning with the Yankees series vs. the Cleveland Indians. Clemens struck Toronto Blue Jays player Alex Rios with the first pitch of the seventh inning in Tuesday's game. The pitch was in retaliation to the Jays striking Yankees players, which themselves were retaliation against Alex Rodriguez for distracting third baseman Howie Clark on May 30th as A-Rod approached the base on a run. Wow, who the fuck needs celebrity culture, there's plenty of drama in the MLB.

- Tiger Woods ties a Majors record with a 63 score (62 1/2 to be precise) soaring to a 2 shot lead in the PGA championship. Tiger then went home, banged his smoking hot wife and smiled at his reflection in the mirror until night fell.

Rupert Murdoch will destroy the Wall Street Journal

If you haven't heard already, Rupert Murdoch - who owns everything FOX branded - just bought the Dow Jones Industrial for $5.6 billion from the Bancroft family. What's owned under that particular umbrella? The Wall Street Journal. And have you WATCHED the FOX news channel recently? See where we're going with this?

Its being speculated like a motherfucker that Murdoch is going to be using the Journal to boost the launch of the Fox Business Channel, due to premiere in October. The newspaper's editor-in-chief has expressed concern but is "hopeful" that the integrity of the Journal will stay in tact. For the next few years, he might get his wish. While obvious minor changes will happen, mostly unrecognizable to a freelance reader, the paper is currently being managed by CNBC, whose contract with the magazine expires in 2012. So until then, Murdoch can't make a significant play in altering the newspaper in any major way, however, the dude doesn't spend $5.6 billion without knowing he's not getting every penny's worth, so I'm expecting some interesting things to go down in the coming months, and the coming years.

Any thoughts? Do you think The Wall Street Journal will steer clear of any drama in its future?

Buy Kanye West's album to get 50 Cent to Stop Making Music

The New York Daily News is reporting that 50 cent has gone on the record saying he will stop making music (for himself), if Kanye West outsells him on 9/11. If you don't already know, the two are both slated to release their tentative third albums on September 11th. The decision has been hailed by Jay-Z, president of Def Jam, as a great day for hip-hop.

I agree. This thing is building so much buzz that I think it will actually divert some people from satisfyingly downloading their albums and actually picking up a copy to support the battle. But does 50 not understand that those comments only fuel his haters to pick up copies of Kanye's cd?

Kanye is definitely winning the battle in terms of buzz. His new single, "Stronger", is currently sitting at #3 on the iTunes download chart, while 50's latest Timbaland-produced track, "Ayo Technology", is at #10, while it hasn't even cracked the top 50 on Billboards Hot 100 singles chart, (where "Stronger" just managed to crack the top ten singles in the US). In terms of album pre-orders, Kanye's so far outdistancing 50 - but that could change in the weeks ahead.

In terms of respectability building up to the release of the albums, well, Kanye is winning in this respect as well. Kanye's held steadfast in the date for his album release, putting out two tracks: "Can't Tell Me Nothing", a buzz track that charted well given its level of promotion, and the aforementioned "Stronger". 50 on the other hand is on his fourth single with "Ayo", already bumping the album from a scheduled June release after his first two singles, "Straight to the Bank" and "Amusement Park", failed to make any real chart impact, even on the Hip-Hop/R&B tally. Even worse, his planned FIFTH single, "Follow My Lead" ft. Robin Thicke, which was supposed to come out in October to ride his album through the Christmas rush, just had its video leaked all over the net, completely screwing up the label's plans and promotions, (although the video does have a significant cameo from DUSTIN HOFFMAN. Not bad).

All in all, I know there's a bunch of 50 supporters out there, but this guy's a douche. My bet is that it will be a close call come September 11th, but even if he loses, he'll spin the results to try and strengthen the dude's pimpness, so in his mind, he can't even lose. Only time will tell. I'll keep you posted.

Bonds Hits 757, Merchandise lasts 16 hours

Fuck, I wish I hadn't bought the hat, the bedsheets and tattoeed "756 forever" across my ass....

It was bound to end sooner or later, but sure enough, Barry Bonds pounds his 757th home run out of the park in McCovey Cove in San Francisco on Wednesday afternoon, apparently pissing off a shitload of hawkers that were hoping to have at LEAST 48 hours of playtime to make some extra coin off of that hysterical 11 year-old kids father who needed to grab a $20 flag to calm his A.D.D. kid's ass down. As to the credibility of Bonds' record, what do you think?
Me? I probably wouldn't even be talking baseball right now had he not broken the record, nor would I be salivating over the memorable clip on youtube over and over and over again, with that fanboy glee stretched across my face. What he's doing for baseball should be appreciated, not sullied by cynicism. So he cheated, fine. Shave off a couple hundred home runs. That's still 150 times more than you could accomplish with your bat and balls.

Yea thats right... double meaning bitches. Get used to it.

Bonds hitting the Homer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKp_qGVxzdU

New Movies

Rush Hour 3
Budget: $140 million
Theatres: 3,778

Stardust
Budget: $70 million
Theatres: 2,540

Daddy Day Care
Budget: N/A
Theatres: 2,330

Skinwalkers
Budget:N/A
Theatres: 773

source: Box Office Mojo

Pretty much, there's only two real contenders, and thats Rush Hour 3 and Stardust. The second Rush Hour pulled in $67+ million when it opened six years ago. That was actually the highest debut for an August release for its time, and the record was only beat last weekend by the Bourne Ultimatum, which took in $69.3 million. The budget was seriously inflated this time by the pricey deals from Tucker and Chan. Chris Tucker, who hasn't even taken a job since the last one, got a damn lucrative $20 million upfront check... on top of 20% of the movies profits, (Chan got similar but slightly less, and director Brett Ratnor got a pretty slick $7.5 million paper as well). Rush Hour 2 pulled in $226 million in the US so even if the second one doesn't match it, (which I dont really think it will), it'll still pull in enough to cover the costs. Stardust on the other hand, has a tougher road. It's been tracking decently, but its a tough sell. Its a modern day Princess Bride but basically looks pussier than a Disney cartoon. Its garnering solid reviews, but will definitely get overshadowed by Rush Hour and the second weekend of Bourne. Daddy Day Care was directed by Fred Savage from the Wonder Years (go figure) and has already had a shitty debut on Wednesday, pulling in $0.77 million, so the weekend prospects look pretty grim. As for Skinwalkers, the release has already been delayed from June to more recently July 27th. With the recent spat of crappy horror/thrillers (Captivity, I Know Who Killed Me) already tanking harder than Barry Bonds' credibility (sorry, I love him but I had to), don't look for Skinwalkers to do too much. Have you even heard of it? 'Swat I thought.
On the independent front, Rosario Dawson's got "Descent" opening. Its about her getting raped and getting all pissed off about it afterwards. Yea, I can see her pulling that off. But she'll probably ugly it up a bit for it, so personally, my money's gonna wait for Sin City 2 when that leather chapped ass is back on the big screen. That's what I'm talkin about Rosario! Get it done!

The End of the Beginning...

What's up to everyone and everything...

This bloggerific-ness is gonna be your avenue to everything pop-culture. I figured I might as well try and make the only thing I know better than you and your sister - into a PHENOM! From movies, to the music you pump on the radio, to the shows you can't get enough of, to the sports, to the celebrities, to the world news ... If it can be stuffed in my crack pipe, I will go ahead and smoke it.

I'm just a young'n livin' in Hollywood, tryin to make the ends meet...

So spread the word on the pop culture crack pipe. Let's have some fun with this kids...